Welcome to Regaldox Kennels!  I am your narrator, Lord Wrigley.  You may refer to me as Lord Wrigley.

Before our story begins, allow me to introduce the cast of characters…

GCH DC Dachrolls Lord Wrigley RN CGC TKN, that’s me with all my accomplishments to date.  I am not yet done competing, so do be astonished at my aptitude, my dear chap.  I have sired four champions and look forward to siring a few more. I leave my calling card everywhere I go…

My dear chap, allow me to introduce

GCH DC Dachrolls Lady Velvet CGC TKN

Thank you. Thank you.  Gentlemen, you’re such darlings!  Just remember, if I want it, it is mine, and we’ll get along just fine.  As for the showoff, Wrigley, if I want more titles, I will have them, if I don’t, I won’t.  I also produced 4 champions. Now, be a darling, and bring me more loot.

Lovely, Lady Velvet, lovely.  Now, on to my daughter

CH Dachrolls Mystic Duchess of Regaldox CGC

Hey!  Here’s how it goes.  You throw the ring, I go get it, and then we fight over it.  When you kiss me, I’ll let go, then we do it again…and again.  O.K. already.  THROW!

My daughter, always on the move.  Next, we have Lady Velvet’s daughter

CH Regaldox Merciful Contessa CGC

Like, whatever.  The servants often refer to me as Black Velvet, but I’m not hung up on male servants like she is.  If you want to be my friend, it could happen.  If you ask me to do something, Like, really, dude?  Whatever.

That Mercy is a lovely lass.  The last introduction is to Lady Velvet’s son, whom I call Ajax, but is known as…

GCH Regaldox Our Court Legend CGC TKN

Dude!  It’s me!  I’m in!  What do you want to do?  Me, too!  I’m in! Come on, dude, let’s go!  I’m in! What are you waiting for? I’m in!

Down, boy.  That concludes the main characters of this tale, although others may appear on occasion.  And, now, to begin.

Once upon today, as we peacefully digested our breakfast, we suddenly jumped up like a human stepping barefoot on a cow hoof. What was that? We alerted the Servants of a sound coming from outdoors by creating quite the hullabaloo.

Certainly, an investigation is in order.  Too bad we don’t have a Sherlock or Holmes among us.  At long last, the Servant released us to find…

A goose. What a foul creature! I shall approach slowly, so she does not notice me. I do believe a mouth hug to her neck is in order here.

Splendid!  One look at my handsome visage and the beast ran for her life. The Servants shall hear about this! The fowl should be fenced or in our bowls. After all that effort, I do believe it is time for…

Scent work! This is an ingenious way for the pack to exercise sniffing technique while righteously receiving treats. Bloody____! Mystic…

Gets to go first! The Servants shall regret that decision, my dear chap. Look, Mystic is sniffing her way to hot dogs. It should be me, Lord Wrigley.  She’s completed her task. Now…

We take turns finding hot dogs. Ha, hot dogs finding hot dogs! Ha!

After a day of securing the perimeter and searching for treats, I deserve a nice, warm snuggle on the lap of my favorite Servant.  There I dreamt…

Of a pack of bitches, all in season, all waiting for me! No attempts to bite my face off when I investigate, just an invitation to climb aboard. Wait a minute! Pardon me, but you should not be privy to a dog’s wet dream.

When I awoke this morning, a brilliant sun was shining.  What to do on a sunny day?  Agility!  There goes…

Ajax jumping the jumps and weaving the weaves. The lad sure can run. Jump…jump..weave this way…weave that way…weave this way…jump again. What a splendid way to stretch the old muscles!

Enduring the Servants unfair order of pack members as they do not always start with yours truly, Mercy had to go last. Now, understand, the sweet lass would rather get a bath than go through weave poles. Mercy reluctantly gets dragged through the agility equipment, when she spies…

A rabbit!  The Servant loses the lead when Mercy lunges for it. The rabbit runs.  Mercy runs. Didn’t know the lass could run like that.  They run around the house and…

To the barn.  Mercy pursues the rabbit as we cheer her on from the yard.  In the barn…

The motherlode! Rabbits everywhere! Mercy runs hither and yon, but the rabbits have their secret passages.

If Mercy’s nose is to be believed, methinks there are some sneaking rabbits around. Just as she is about to grab her quarry, a hand grabs her leash. Bloody____! Those darn Servants ruin all the fun! It was good while it lasted. The taste and smell of rabbit blood would have been better. I do believe the lovely lass is capable of such a feat. When she is dragged back…

When Mercy returns, we all give her the once over to get the whole story. Our pack does not exhibit jealousy, we have perfected unadulterated envy!

With so much excitement, we are ready to partake in a 5 dachshund pile up to dream of our next adventure…

Good day, old chap! Today is trick dog day! I’m a trickster, as is Velvet and Ajax. Are you a trickster? Look, it is a Velvet in the box!

The great thing about trick dog training is that it is fabulously fun, and although we have the title already, we get to play! Wait a minute! Velvet got a special toy. Methinks Wrigley needs a special toy. I shall wait until…

My turn to voice my displeasure. Wow! There goes Mystic through the hoop. Go, girl go!

Now, Ajax gets a turn. I am losing patience, people. Looks like Ajax is mastering a new trick, the ol’ lookout position. Nicely done, laddie. A demotion in the Servant ranks shall occur if my turn does not start. I will…

Do nothing because it is my turn. Yes!  I leapt into the box, jumped through the hoop, ran through a tunnel, and did a signal finish. That’s when the most amazing thing happened! My special toy was tossed and I ran for it.

Look at me! I’m so adorable I make myself say, “Awww”! All this joy puts me in the mood for…

A romp in the woods. Velvet and I are the dynamic duo, searching out the hidden treasures of the forest. The proper procedure is to run and then stop suddenly to sniff and dig, if necessary.

Another important detail to a ramble in the woods: pretend the Servants do not exist. If they call, just keep going! Do not allow them to perturb you. As we investigate the marvels of the woods, I find…

A fascinating tunnel to investigate! I charge in full of hunting drive. If all is correct, some rats should be awaiting my desire to destroy them. The Servants call this earthdog, we call it thrilling! Alas, the Servant takes me out and the others get a turn.

When Mercy runs through the tunnel, she reaches the end, looks at the Servant, and says, “Dude, where’s the frickin’ rats?”

The art of dining will be today’s instruction. After the Servants fill your dish, the first step is to worship the bowl with longing eyes, and, possibly, some drool.

The next step comes as the Servant serves you. As the dish is set in front of you, dive in, teeth first, plundering the food as quickly as possible. You will know when you have achieved this goal when the food is gone so fast that your dinner insists on coming back out to allow you to eat it again. This is the proper way to conduct a meal…

Unless the Servants catch on. For some reason, they do not approve of regurgitation. They attempt to alter our behavior with peculiar dishes.

Do you recall the song from Hee Haw called “Gloom, despair, and agony on me”? Here we are acting our version of that song.